Relationship - First Love

Those Days was golden days of my life. I was so happy, I felt like doing all the good things there were in this universe. I don’t know the reason but I think that it may have had to do with love. Love colored everything I did. There was somebody who cared for me and made my days brigther. I knew that she loved me and I loved her also but our problem was that we were not able to express ourselves to each other. I also knew that this would not be so for long. I would reduce this distance between us as soon as possible. I like her very much and trusted her very word. The cool morning still remain in my memory. I got her picture from the Net and that was how I came to know about her. We become good chat pals. That was in the beginning.

When I first saw her I knew my heart that I was already in love. That first date we met in the café and the moment I saw her I felt as if my dream was coming true. My love could grow only stronger and I thought she had begun liking me too. I thought that that was the reason why she had come. All that came to mind was ………to love is nothing, to be loved is something; to love and to be loved is everything. Then we had nothing but I wanted to be everything.

Our dates became frequent and my feeling for her grew. I dreamt that it was the same for her until one fine morning when I called her to the place where we had first met. It was nice morning, pleasant and I was thinking that this was the best time to tell her how I felt. As usual, she came right on time but that day, I don’t know why, my heart beat faster. May be because I was going to tell her how I really felt. I was afraid that she might not feel the same. I was afraid that the fine morning would change our relationship forever. She came, sat near me and smiled. That smie gave me the encouragement to tell her what she meant to me. My voice was shaking. For moment she sat still, my heart beating faster. All I could think of was that my dream was over. Until I finally saw the remnants of her smile pick up on her face. It made me go on. Then she told me that she love me too. I was so happy.

We bagan meeting regularly since then. We were a couple for a year. One day, we had a date when she came late and she said that she might not be able to go on with our relationship for long. I was shocked. All I could say was, :Hey. Don’t joke!” “I’m not kidding,” she replied. Saying nothing more she left me. I have not received any mail or phone call ever since.

To her:

I don’t know why you dumped me. Why did you leave? Was I the wrong guy? Why don’t you talk to me? I want to know what happened. What happened promises we made? I sent many emails but you never replied back? My love is true. Why did you say yes if you really didn’t want to go through with it? Why are you playing games with me? I don’t hate you, I hate myself. I hate those days we spend together. I hate my heart…everything that makes me love you. I want to hide myself, but where I don’t know. Saying I love you was my greatest mistake. No matter how much I try to forget you, I cannot. The wound I still is fresh.